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February 17
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An eyelash falls down his cheek,
and I wonder-laugh at the unexpected fall.
It’s black against his skin, as pale as my own,
and nearly so as the dust of snow outside the window.
I expect him to hold it out and bid me make a wish,
but he brushes it off his cheek,
and his eyes don’t follow its path to the hand-brake, as mine do.
I want to lean down and grab it for myself because damn,
if he isn’t going to make a wish I could sure use one.
But when I ask him, he grins at me and asks what I would wish for,
when we have such a future in front of us.
For now I’ll keep it a secret, but I do lean close to him and whisper
that we can put that future to the test, and if it’s a good one,
I’ll pay him back in eyelashes.
:iconandthenyou:
we had to write sonnets for my poetry class, aaaaghhhhhhhhhh, and since i haven't put anything original or new on here in a while, well, here you go, have some hour long frustration.

notice that it's not even very structured, but my teacher luckily did not insist on any specific meter or rhyme, thank goodness. she did tell me to try and write in couplets, and i think i succeeded for the most part, but i did take that challenge very liberally. ah, well.

i do have another sonnet that i wrote for class, each line with 10 syllables (i don't know if you can tell, but i am very proud, haha), so you might see that one when it's been edited out of its shameful state at the moment.

critique? comments? :heart:

writing @ ~AndThenYou
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:iconheyhihowareyoutoday:
Oh man, I recently had to write a sonnet for my English class too, but it was absolutely awful. Poetry is hard for me. xD;; I love this, though! It paints a lovely image.
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:iconlookinatstufff:
Mhmmm. I like it.
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:icondhbw:
sonnets? oy, that's rough...but good job...
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:icontwilight-nerd753:
~Twilight-Nerd753 Feb 18, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
Just beautiful. You are by far one of my favorite authors. This poem is just flawless :heart:
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:iconsandrasunflower12:
I like it
Reply
:iconelfgirlunltd:
~elfgirlunltd Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I actually really love free verse poems, so I like this a lot. I like the picture it paints too. :)
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:icontr1st3r:
~tr1st3r Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Writer
This is so cute and soooo well written!
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:iconhpotty:
~hpotty Feb 17, 2013  Student
beautiful :happycry:
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:iconjmetropolis:
Awe, so sweet thanks for sharing.
Reply
:iconmaximum35:
~maximum35 Feb 17, 2013  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Oh this is just great. I think you should be very proud.


I'm also glad i'm not the only one who insists someone make a wish on an eyelash. I liked this a lot. Keep up the great work.
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